God, my heart is a stallion. His name popped up in my notifications in the middle of the night and my heart wont let me rest – it races so fast.
Did I respond? Well, yea. I’m mentally prepared for all encounters, either now or further down the road. But my emotions, my spirit, my heart…God.
I will never let Xavier think for one second that he still has me under his thumb. That my mind is still so easily swayed. I am my own woman now. And though I’ve spent the latter of my adolescence encapsulated by him, I will not break down again. He will not win.
Something he said tonight triggered an old memory:
A long time ago – in the beginning, Xavier looked at me after a dinner at his place and mumbled, “You’re too good for me…”
I think, for a song, he knew what combining our lives would bring. He realized my potential before I knew it existed. I responded to his brief epiphany in the natural, ignorant, teenage manner and moved on. As did he – ignoring (forgetting) his admittance and essentially, barricading me from who I truly am.
He said he would never leave… That he “Never wanted to lose” me.
Now I know that he didn’t want me as his wife, but as his trophy.
I am so much more than an arm piece. I am Freespirit.
And now I’ll rest.
(HINT:If you know how to read between the lines, then you now know what my career is…)